We
all remember that moment back in 2009, when Kanye West lunged onto the
stage at the MTV Video Music Awards, grabbed the microphone from Taylor
Swift, and launched into a monologue. “I’m gonna let you finish,” he
said as he interrupted Swift as she was accepting the award for best
female video. “But BeyoncĂ© had one of the best videos of all time!”
It was perhaps the most public example of the
“manterruption”
– that is, a man interrupting a woman while she’s trying to speak (in
this case, on stage, by herself, as an award honoree) and taking over
the floor. At the VMAs it might have counted as entertainment, but ask
any woman in the working world and we all recognize the phenomenon. We
speak up in a meeting, only to hear a man’s voice chime in louder. We
pitch an idea, perhaps too uncertainly – only to have a dude repeat it
with authority. We may possess the skill, but he has the right vocal
cords – which means we shut up, losing our confidence (or worse, the
credit for the work).
We might have thought we were just being paranoid.
But thanks to
Sheryl Sandberg and Wharton business school professor Adam Grant (a
man!) we can feel just a little less crazy when we mentally replay those
meetings gone wrong. In a new op-ed in the New York Times,
they point out the perils of “speaking while female,” along with a bevy
of new research to prove that no, this is not all in our heads.
(Disclaimer: I edit special projects for Sandberg’s women’s nonprofit,
LeanIn.Org. Though I did not edit her
Times op-ed.)
Sandberg and Grant cite research showing that powerful male Senators
speak significantly more than their junior colleagues, while female
Senators do not. That male executives who speak more often than their
peers are deemed more competent (by 10%), while female executives who speak up are considered less (14% less). The data follows a long line of research showing that when it comes to the workplace, women speak less, are interrupted more, and have their ideas more harshly scrutinized.
“We’ve both seen it happen again and again,” Sandberg and Grant
write. “When a woman speaks in a professional setting, she walks a
tightrope. Either she’s barely heard or she’s judged as too aggressive.
When a man says virtually the same thing, heads nod in appreciation for
his fine idea.”
My friends have come up with terminology for it: Manterrupting. Manstanding. (Or talk-blocking, if you want the gender-neutral version.)
And the result? Women hold back. That, or we relinquish credit altogether. Our ideas get co-opted (bro-opted), re-appropriated (bro-propriated?)
— or they simply fizzle out. We shut down, become less creative, less
engaged. We revert into ourselves, wondering if it’s actually our fault.
Enter spiral of self-doubt. But there are things we can do to stop that cycle: women, men, and even bosses.
Know That We’re All a Little Bit Sexist — and Correct for It
The reality is that we all exhibit what scholars call “
unconscious bias” — ingrained prejudices we may not even know we have. (Don’t think you’re among the culprits? Take this
Implicit Association Test
to be proved wrong.) When it comes to women, that bias is the result of
decades of history; we’ve been taught that men lead and women nurture.
So when women exhibit male traits – you know, decision-making,
authority, leadership – we often dislike them, while men who exhibit
those same traits are frequently deemed strong, masculine, and
competent. It’s not only men who exhibit this bias, it’s women too: as
one
recent study
found, it’s not just men who interrupt women more at work — it’s women
too. But acknowledging that bias is an important step toward correcting
for it.
Establish a No-Kanye Rule (Or Any Interruption, for That Matter)
When Glen Mazarra, a showrunner at
The Shield, an FX TV
drama from the early 2000s, noticed that his female writers weren’t
speaking up in the writer’s room – or that when they did, they were
interrupted and their ideas overtaken — he instituted a no-interruption
policy while writers (male or female) were pitching. “It worked, and he
later observed that it made the entire team more effective,” Sandberg
and Grant wrote.
Practice Bystander Intervention
Seriously, stop an interrupter in his (or her) tracks. Nudge him,
elbow him, or simply speak up to say, “Wait, let her finish,” or “Hey, I
want to hear what Jess is saying.” The words are your choice — but
don’t stay silent.
Create a Buddy System With a Friend
Or, better yet, if you’re a woman, create a buddy system with a friend
who is a dude.
Ask him to nod and look interested when you speak (when he’s
interested, of course). Let him to back you up publicly in meetings.
Seriously, try it. It’s not fair, no. But dammit, it works.
Support Your (Female) Colleagues
If you hear an idea from a woman that you think is good, back her up.
You’ll have more of an effect than you think and you’ll establish
yourself as a team player too.
Give Credit Where It’s Due
Yes, everyone wants credit for a good idea. But research shows that
giving credit where it’s due will actually make
you look better (as well as the person with the idea).
Women: Practice Assertive Body Language
Sit at the table, point to someone, stand up, walk to the front of
the room, place your hand on the table — whatever it takes. Not only do
these high-
power poses
make you appear more authoritative, but they actually increase your
testosterone levels – and thus, your confidence. In some cases, it may
actually help to literally “lean in”: in
one study,
researchers found that men physically lean in more often than women in
professional meetings, making them less likely to be interrupted. Women
more often leaned away — and were more likely to be interrupted.
… And Own Your Voice
Don’t undermine your authority with “I’m not sure if this is right,
but—.” Speak authoritatively. Avoid the baby voice (leadership and
authority are associated with the deep masculine voice, not with a
softer, higher pitched tone). And please, whatever you do,
don’t apologize before you speak.
Support Companies With Women in Power
We know that companies with more women on their corporate boards have
higher outcomes and better returns. Teams with more diverse members
perform better too. But having more women in power may actually
encourage women to bring their ideas forward. In one study cited by
Sandberg and Grant, researchers looked at the employees of a credit
union where women made up 74% of supervisors and 84% of front-line
employees. Shocker: women here were more likely to speak up, and be
heard.
If all else fails, you can always learn how to talk really, really loud.
Jessica Bennett is a contributing columnist at Time.com covering the intersection of gender, sexuality, business and pop culture. She writes regularly for the New York Times
and is a contributing editor on special projects for Sheryl Sandberg’s women’s nonprofit, Lean In. You can follow her @jess7bennett.